Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Paychecks, Morality, Art and Government
America now has a Pay Czar. It seems that some rather large financial institutions have a man who now tells them how much they can pay some of their executives because they failed at some task or another. I am going to have to disagree with this concept.
Where do we draw the line on this concept? The Pittsburgh Pirates have not made it into the playoffs in 17 years but every member of their team is guaranteed a League Minimum Salary. Four members of their team earn more than two million dollars a year. Between their 26 players they spend over $25 million a year. That is a heck of a lot of cash to represent America’s 56th largest city so poorly.
There are a number of actors who I have enjoyed the work of only to be disappointed in some effort or another of theirs. I have enjoyed quite a few Brad Pitt movies. I enjoyed the movie Troy. In the movie Troy Brad Stunk up the screen the entire time. Tyler Durden may have been iconic and changed the way a generation of men viewed their place in the world but given what could be arguably better material, certainly material that has withstood a long test of time, Mr. Pitt delivered a performance that made me wish I was watching a 3rd grade Easter play. Is the Fed ready to cut his salary?
What is my government willing to do about moments of erectile dysfunction on porn sets? The poorly waxed alley I tried to bowl on last month? How about that craptastic burger I got from Wendy’s last week? Why do so many people in our country fail so spectacularly and evade the Sauron-like eye of our Pay Czar but somehow the folks doing an amazingly difficult job where they cannot control the circumstances of the market face retribution?
What we have on Wall Street is not a pay problem. We don’t have an incompetence problem either. What we have is a morality problem. Don’t we all know that you “Cannot legislate morality?” Do we? I have to disagree there. Legislation is a broad agreement on morality. Killing and stealing are widely, nearly universally, agreed to be immoral and we legislate that.
My biggest problem with art school was that the entire purpose of the institution was to create self-employed small business people and we were never prepared to run a small business. I have since become a strong component of most, if not all, majors being bound to have some kind of business training. Why can we not institute the same principles towards those who study business? How about a few classes on morality for America’s business people in training? A solid foundation in philosophy coupled with an agreement between employer and employee about the appropriateness of their financial decision would go much further in solving our current crisis than any pay strictures our government can provide.
Where do we draw the line on this concept? The Pittsburgh Pirates have not made it into the playoffs in 17 years but every member of their team is guaranteed a League Minimum Salary. Four members of their team earn more than two million dollars a year. Between their 26 players they spend over $25 million a year. That is a heck of a lot of cash to represent America’s 56th largest city so poorly.
There are a number of actors who I have enjoyed the work of only to be disappointed in some effort or another of theirs. I have enjoyed quite a few Brad Pitt movies. I enjoyed the movie Troy. In the movie Troy Brad Stunk up the screen the entire time. Tyler Durden may have been iconic and changed the way a generation of men viewed their place in the world but given what could be arguably better material, certainly material that has withstood a long test of time, Mr. Pitt delivered a performance that made me wish I was watching a 3rd grade Easter play. Is the Fed ready to cut his salary?
What is my government willing to do about moments of erectile dysfunction on porn sets? The poorly waxed alley I tried to bowl on last month? How about that craptastic burger I got from Wendy’s last week? Why do so many people in our country fail so spectacularly and evade the Sauron-like eye of our Pay Czar but somehow the folks doing an amazingly difficult job where they cannot control the circumstances of the market face retribution?
What we have on Wall Street is not a pay problem. We don’t have an incompetence problem either. What we have is a morality problem. Don’t we all know that you “Cannot legislate morality?” Do we? I have to disagree there. Legislation is a broad agreement on morality. Killing and stealing are widely, nearly universally, agreed to be immoral and we legislate that.
My biggest problem with art school was that the entire purpose of the institution was to create self-employed small business people and we were never prepared to run a small business. I have since become a strong component of most, if not all, majors being bound to have some kind of business training. Why can we not institute the same principles towards those who study business? How about a few classes on morality for America’s business people in training? A solid foundation in philosophy coupled with an agreement between employer and employee about the appropriateness of their financial decision would go much further in solving our current crisis than any pay strictures our government can provide.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Things I Am Sure Of: (First in a series)
Things I am sure of:
#1 Any gift, and I mean any gift, can be wrapped poorly.
#2 Scales at the DMV would reduce our obesity problem. It is hard to lie on your taxes and there are penalties for it. Lie when they ask your weight and there are no consequences. Make folks climb on a scale to get their license and we would have fewer drivers or fewer fat people. Either one is good.
#1 Any gift, and I mean any gift, can be wrapped poorly.
#2 Scales at the DMV would reduce our obesity problem. It is hard to lie on your taxes and there are penalties for it. Lie when they ask your weight and there are no consequences. Make folks climb on a scale to get their license and we would have fewer drivers or fewer fat people. Either one is good.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Taxes and Services
A recent Letter to the Editor:
“You get what you pay for.” It is an accepted fact of life. You do not get a penthouse for $300 a month nor can you expect a top of the line luxury sedan on the cheap. We accept this in every facet of our lives except one- Government. Why is that?
I am hearing quite the uproar about the possibility of a new prepared food tax, Tea Party protesters have marched on Washington and April 15th is the grumpiest day of the year. When are the taxpayers of America going to start acting like adults? Every tax is met with a groan and complaint but demand for services from the government continue to swell. If we want fewer taxes we have to decide what we are going to quit asking for. Shall the FDA quit researching whether drugs are safe? Are you going to explain to the policemen who guard your family that you didn’t want t pay the tax to keep their cars running, much less for a Kevlar vest? Which of us is going to demand fire service while explaining we don’t want to pay for the truck and the good people risking their lives deserve to be paid less than the fellow who mows your lawn?
As long as Americans continue to assault and berate our elected officials by demanding services while insisting taxes be lowered we will never have the best and brightest in leadership positions of government and we will never get the best out of those officials we have.
“You get what you pay for.” It is an accepted fact of life. You do not get a penthouse for $300 a month nor can you expect a top of the line luxury sedan on the cheap. We accept this in every facet of our lives except one- Government. Why is that?
I am hearing quite the uproar about the possibility of a new prepared food tax, Tea Party protesters have marched on Washington and April 15th is the grumpiest day of the year. When are the taxpayers of America going to start acting like adults? Every tax is met with a groan and complaint but demand for services from the government continue to swell. If we want fewer taxes we have to decide what we are going to quit asking for. Shall the FDA quit researching whether drugs are safe? Are you going to explain to the policemen who guard your family that you didn’t want t pay the tax to keep their cars running, much less for a Kevlar vest? Which of us is going to demand fire service while explaining we don’t want to pay for the truck and the good people risking their lives deserve to be paid less than the fellow who mows your lawn?
As long as Americans continue to assault and berate our elected officials by demanding services while insisting taxes be lowered we will never have the best and brightest in leadership positions of government and we will never get the best out of those officials we have.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Famous For Being Famous
What is famous simply for being famous? We have celebrity chefs who put much more emphasis on the celebrity than the chef, rappers who don’t write their own lyrics and singers who can’t sing!
With a significant percentage of high school children (yes, they are still children) believing that they will someday be famous. In a recent MTV poll (because when I think ‘Accurate polling’ the first thing that pops into my mind is MTV!) 25% of teenagers think that they will be famous. Stunning. I wonder how many of them think it will be for hard work they are doing now.
Schwarzenegger was already bulking up by 14, many Olympians are facing ruination towards then end of puberty and song/dance sensations frequently have peaked and disappeared into reality TV by 30. It would seem that those things most likely to lead to fame would be evident and marked by the teen years. Sure, nuclear physicists and brain surgeons haven’t even started on the core of their training until well past the legal age to buy a bottle of brandy but how many of them can you name?
Fame, itself, as a goal seems most peculiar. Notice that more and more fame seems to be a goal instead of a side effect of excellence. Fame was, at one time not too long ago, a consequence of some quality or combination of qualities pursued for their own sake. To be the best baseball player or to be able to entertain through some skill was the goal and fame frequently followed. It is almost unheard of today to find a talented individual who has no ambition to take their chosen practice no further than an intimate jazz club or local park. Total domination of the pop charts and early draft choices would seem to be the only worthwhile conclusion if we listened to our youth.
How did an entire generation come to celebrate fame rather than excellence? It is like taking a medication for the side effects. “You know Bob, I don’t care if it keeps me from being depressed or not, the hair loss and burning diarrhea are the real benefits.” Can you imagine?
With a significant percentage of high school children (yes, they are still children) believing that they will someday be famous. In a recent MTV poll (because when I think ‘Accurate polling’ the first thing that pops into my mind is MTV!) 25% of teenagers think that they will be famous. Stunning. I wonder how many of them think it will be for hard work they are doing now.
Schwarzenegger was already bulking up by 14, many Olympians are facing ruination towards then end of puberty and song/dance sensations frequently have peaked and disappeared into reality TV by 30. It would seem that those things most likely to lead to fame would be evident and marked by the teen years. Sure, nuclear physicists and brain surgeons haven’t even started on the core of their training until well past the legal age to buy a bottle of brandy but how many of them can you name?
Fame, itself, as a goal seems most peculiar. Notice that more and more fame seems to be a goal instead of a side effect of excellence. Fame was, at one time not too long ago, a consequence of some quality or combination of qualities pursued for their own sake. To be the best baseball player or to be able to entertain through some skill was the goal and fame frequently followed. It is almost unheard of today to find a talented individual who has no ambition to take their chosen practice no further than an intimate jazz club or local park. Total domination of the pop charts and early draft choices would seem to be the only worthwhile conclusion if we listened to our youth.
How did an entire generation come to celebrate fame rather than excellence? It is like taking a medication for the side effects. “You know Bob, I don’t care if it keeps me from being depressed or not, the hair loss and burning diarrhea are the real benefits.” Can you imagine?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Another Dick In the Wall
Remember the terrible fear of the Cold War? Can you remember the hideous fear of sudden annihilation from the sky? We knew we were the good guys. Western Europe and the United States of America were obviously on the side of right. Sure, we had a ton of nukes pointed at everyone and their grandmother but we had the symbolism on our side. Those wacky Commies built a wall, you see. We stood for freedom and they stood for oppression and anyone who was willing to look at the pictures or listen to the speeches knew this because they had a wall. They were so afraid of justice and freedom and unrestricted travel that they had to stack bricks and concrete and top it off with razor wire and spikes like some hideous sundae of oppression because they were wrong.
The Iron Curtain was its name and while it was only a symbol to people in the ‘free world’ it was a powerful symbol. Folks who were right needed no walls and folks who were wrong needed walls. Prisons have walls, the Eastern Bloc had walls ergo they were obviously ninnies and bad guys and sported an inferior political system and probably were late for meetings and farted in elevators and all those other terrible wall builder type of behaviors. Our lack of wall building showed that we were apple pie makers who all mowed grass for old ladies and didn’t accept payment. IT was the exact opposite of might makes right. Our rightness is what gave us might. And we won, dammit. 1991, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” And Gorbachev ran right out to the middle of Germany and pounded the wall down, wiping the sweat and port wine stain right off his big forehead. No walls equals we win.
Fast forward. Early twenty-first century and what have we done with our winnings? Well, our allies in Israel are building some walls. Walls between them and those nasty people who made the terrible mistake of never leaving the Middle East and by virtue of building homes, occupying the land for several centuries straight and tending their orchards somehow came to believe that the land actually belonged to them. Somehow, when they got violent about their homes and lands being taken from them this was seen as very unneighborly and they now deserve to be attacked and killed for throwing rocks at tanks. That’ll teach them. Lord knows that over here in the land of the free you aren’t allowed to shoot at trespassers and thieves, right?
Now, we are in Iraq. Some folks there don’t get along. Sunni and Shia mix like oil and water it seems and a strong arm was keeping them apart. Now, do not misunderstand me. I am not defending the principles of the now dead Mr. Hussein. But let us please be honest about the blame for the Middle Eastern situation. Much of it lies at the feet of whatever bastard in England was allowed to goof all over the map of the Fertile Crescent like a drunken Parkinson’s victim with his own particular crayon of randomness. So how are we fixing it? Tanks and walls. That is right. Drawing artificial lines didn’t teach these people to do what we want when we want so we built a three mile long wall between some Sunni and Shia and there hasn’t been any violence in Iraq since. Wow, we rock!
These stunning successes have taught a valuable lesson. Walls are not just about politics, they work great for controlling brown people. Thus, we are attempting to build a 1,500 mile long wall along our border with Mexico. A few Republican congressmen have actually suggested a wall around Daytona Beach to keep anyone who gets too tan from returning. That is right. A 1,500 mile wall. Now, we know for a fact that no one ever escaped the Eastern Bloc, Palestinians are no longer threatening those fragile Israeli tanks with their nasty slings and rocks (those bullies!) and Iraq has been completely pacified so this wall will, of course, work.
Now, there are already enough tunnels going under the border to provide every stoner west of the Mississippi with enough Mexican Brown Dirt Dope to get through the year. Any moron with a canoe can ease themselves out into the Gulf of Mexico (We need to rename that while we are at it, right? Gulf of Texas has a nice ring!) and land on a Texas beach, assuming people go to Texas voluntarily. And those funky Wright Brothers let their plans get out and it is my understanding that airplanes are actually used down there. But a wall, well, a wall will stop them for sure. Because walls represent freedom, right?
The Iron Curtain was its name and while it was only a symbol to people in the ‘free world’ it was a powerful symbol. Folks who were right needed no walls and folks who were wrong needed walls. Prisons have walls, the Eastern Bloc had walls ergo they were obviously ninnies and bad guys and sported an inferior political system and probably were late for meetings and farted in elevators and all those other terrible wall builder type of behaviors. Our lack of wall building showed that we were apple pie makers who all mowed grass for old ladies and didn’t accept payment. IT was the exact opposite of might makes right. Our rightness is what gave us might. And we won, dammit. 1991, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” And Gorbachev ran right out to the middle of Germany and pounded the wall down, wiping the sweat and port wine stain right off his big forehead. No walls equals we win.
Fast forward. Early twenty-first century and what have we done with our winnings? Well, our allies in Israel are building some walls. Walls between them and those nasty people who made the terrible mistake of never leaving the Middle East and by virtue of building homes, occupying the land for several centuries straight and tending their orchards somehow came to believe that the land actually belonged to them. Somehow, when they got violent about their homes and lands being taken from them this was seen as very unneighborly and they now deserve to be attacked and killed for throwing rocks at tanks. That’ll teach them. Lord knows that over here in the land of the free you aren’t allowed to shoot at trespassers and thieves, right?
Now, we are in Iraq. Some folks there don’t get along. Sunni and Shia mix like oil and water it seems and a strong arm was keeping them apart. Now, do not misunderstand me. I am not defending the principles of the now dead Mr. Hussein. But let us please be honest about the blame for the Middle Eastern situation. Much of it lies at the feet of whatever bastard in England was allowed to goof all over the map of the Fertile Crescent like a drunken Parkinson’s victim with his own particular crayon of randomness. So how are we fixing it? Tanks and walls. That is right. Drawing artificial lines didn’t teach these people to do what we want when we want so we built a three mile long wall between some Sunni and Shia and there hasn’t been any violence in Iraq since. Wow, we rock!
These stunning successes have taught a valuable lesson. Walls are not just about politics, they work great for controlling brown people. Thus, we are attempting to build a 1,500 mile long wall along our border with Mexico. A few Republican congressmen have actually suggested a wall around Daytona Beach to keep anyone who gets too tan from returning. That is right. A 1,500 mile wall. Now, we know for a fact that no one ever escaped the Eastern Bloc, Palestinians are no longer threatening those fragile Israeli tanks with their nasty slings and rocks (those bullies!) and Iraq has been completely pacified so this wall will, of course, work.
Now, there are already enough tunnels going under the border to provide every stoner west of the Mississippi with enough Mexican Brown Dirt Dope to get through the year. Any moron with a canoe can ease themselves out into the Gulf of Mexico (We need to rename that while we are at it, right? Gulf of Texas has a nice ring!) and land on a Texas beach, assuming people go to Texas voluntarily. And those funky Wright Brothers let their plans get out and it is my understanding that airplanes are actually used down there. But a wall, well, a wall will stop them for sure. Because walls represent freedom, right?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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