I want to smell

I want to produce odors.

I know this may sound odd but let’s say one day I actually get to meet a rhinoceros up close and personal. They are darned near blind but have an amazingly sensitive sense of smell. As much as I may put on a suit for a showing or show up in work clothes to help a friend I could also produce an array of odors to not only share who I am and what I have done in the very recent past but to sincerely and strongly express myself in an olfactory way.

When I visited a friend’s house with a dog I could produce appropriate communications without anyone else in the room knowing. Instead of the Horse Whisperer I could be the Animal Odorizer. Through subtle, zen-like excretions I could, appease, entice and motivate our animal friends. I would transform our emotional attachment to the Mona Lisa or Swan Lake into a bouquet of aromas that would enhance our link to the animal kingdom.

The Sultan of Scent. Delegate de la Smells. Ambassador of Aroma. People could point me out to their friends and say “That, that is my friend Mark. He smells.” And say it proudly. I would make butterflies flock to me in public parks to entertain children. I would repel pigeons from great public artworks. I could reassure those animals still laboring for us, calm those who are reared solely to fuel us through their destruction and show true appreciation to those that perform for our amusement.

I want to produce odors.